Technology News Today: AI, Big Tech, and What's Actually Going On
Generated Title: From Delta's AI Baggage Handler to Wordle Hacks: Is This REALLY the Future We Were Promised?
Alright, lemme get this straight. We're officially in the back-to-the-future year of 2025, and the headlines are screaming about Baggage AI at Delta? Seriously? Last I checked, airports were still losing luggage at a rate that'd make a pirate blush. So, forgive me if I'm not exactly popping champagne over some "optimized driving route" for ramp agents.
The "Future" is Just More of the Same, But Shiny
NBC News even did a ride-along with some dude named Michael Davis, an 11-year Delta employee hailed as "instrumental" in the rollout. Instrumental? Give me a break. It's a glorified GPS for luggage. And they’re acting like he invented sliced bread. (NBC TODAY Show: How technology helps Delta care for customers’ bags)
And then there's SERVPRO of Downtown Minneapolis, patting themselves on the back for "significant investments in advanced restoration technology." Oh, you mean like, dehumidifiers and better vacuums? Color me impressed. They're acting like Minneapolis is some kind of post-apocalyptic wasteland constantly ravaged by floods and fires. Oh wait, maybe it is...
Scott Clemente, the owner, says they recognize that property damage situations require both immediate response and long-term restoration expertise. Well, no freakin' duh, Scott. What else would they require, interpretive dance? The guy states the obvious and expects a medal.
Wordle: The Last Bastion of Sanity? Not So Fast...
Then, to top it all off, we’re getting "ultimate guides" to solve the daily Wordle puzzle? Seriously? Is this what passes for intellectual stimulation these days? A five-letter word game that even my grandma could probably figure out?
Okay, I'll admit, I've wasted a few minutes on Wordle myself. But the fact that it's considered "news" just shows how far we've fallen. We're so desperate for a tiny win in our otherwise bleak existence that we celebrate cracking a vocabulary puzzle. And there's guides now? What happend to just guessing?
The article even gives "tailored hints" – like, the word starts with 'R' and relates to sending money. Wow, groundbreaking. I mean, offcourse, the answer is REMIT. Did we really need an "ultimate guide" for that? (Wordle November 27 answer: Ultimate guide to solve today’s puzzle)
The Punchline? We're Doomed.
All this "ai news" and "technology" is just a shiny distraction from the fact that the world's still a mess. We're still losing luggage, houses are still getting flooded, and people are still obsessing over stupid word games.
But hey, at least Delta has a fancy new AI to tell their ramp agents where to drive. Progress!
Then again, maybe I'm just being a grumpy old man yelling at clouds. Maybe this is all progress. Maybe I should just embrace the future and start practicing my Wordle strategy. But honestly... I'd rather just scream into the void.